Media Notes

Media Notes



Baseball analyst Tim McCarver, erstwhile designated catcher for Steve Carlton and master of the strained metaphor and simile, is usually good for at least one gaffe per broadcast. Last night, during the World Series game, he said, “It’s a five-letter word: strike.” I was half asleep, so I can’t provide the context, but I was alert enough to know that he was one off on his number of letters. I’m sure a producer got in his ear about it, and one inning later ol’ Tim corrected himself. Just another example of his love-hate relationship with the English language – he loves it, it hates him. Stay tuned for more verbal gymnastics from this consistent contributor to “War.”

Spark continues to be one of the most badly-edited mainstream publications in the Wilmington area. This week, the cover includes this slugline: “Tribute the departed this Halloween with these 5 DIY Costume Ideas.” Note to Spark: tribute is not a verb, it’s a noun. You can pay tribute, but you can’t tribute. You will be seeing this in the War on Words column. (The issue also has label spelled “lable” in a caption and the word “alright” in a column – it’s all right, all right?)

This “tribute” abomination is part of the trend that is turning nouns into verbs. “Gift” is a another recent example. People now “gift” their alma maters with donations. Ugh!

Random Rankings: Whenever lists of top sports movies are put together, they include the usual: Bull Durham, Hoosiers, Major League, Remember the Titans, Field of Dreams, etc. One that is always missing, and I admit it goes back a long way (1951), is Jim Thorpe, All American. It stars Burt Lancaster, who was an excellent athlete (he was the catcher in a trapeze act before going to Hollywood), and unlike most sports movies, it’s based on an actual person – the greatest athlete of the 20^th century. It of course takes some liberty with the truth, but it tells a compelling story about a Native American who overcame all kinds of obstacles to become an Olympic champion and a professional football and baseball player. The DVD is available on Amazon and eBay. I have a VHS copy, if anyone would like to borrow it.

Random Notes

Delaware Today: Check out the November issue, which should be on the newsstands any day now. Great cover story on Master Chef Jennifer Behm by Editor-in-Chief Maria Hess. The EIC has an entertaining style that takes the reader effortlessly through a story. Also see Mark Nardone’s piece on Jim Martin, who finds housing for the state’s recovering alcoholics and drug addicts. And check out letters to the editor, where a familiar name appears. Great issue!

Al Mascitti: OK, I’m just gonna say it: Al is the smartest guy in the room. He’s WDEL’s (1150 AM) 9 to noon talk show host. A liberal (I said he was smart, didn’t I?), Al is nonetheless objective in his vituperation. He will call out those on both the left and right, but especially (and justifiably) the latter. A tad cynical, but smart and witty.

Mike Missanelli: Another paisan, Mikey Miss has done us all a favor. The 97.5 The Fanatic talker (2 to 6 p.m. weekdays) hastened the retirement of El Diablo, Beelzebub, He Whose Name Cannot Be Spoken, aka Howard Eskin. After Missanelli got consistently higher Arbitron ratings than Eskin’s competing show, the bearded weasel decided to “pursue other opportunities.” Right. Believe that and I have a bridge in Brooklyn for you. Anyway, check out Mike. A Penn State grad, he’s smart and incisive. Wait . . . that’s redundant, isn’t it?

Speaking of Penn State: While many football teams seem to be adopting uniforms that look like they were rescued from the La Cage aux Folles trash bin (didja see those Maryland numbers, incorporating the state flag design?), Penn State continues the traditional blue and white uni, with no names, no stripes. In fact, this year they even eliminated the white trim around the neck. They did, however, go to white shoelaces on their black shoes. Joe Paterno is obviously weakening in his old age.

And finally: Whatever happened to the verb “lend”? Used to be, back in the Pleistocene era of my youth, loan was the noun and lend was the verb. Now it’s always “Can you loan me a dollar?” Let’s start a campaign, Word Warriors, to restore this fine word to its rightful place.

Until next time, stay literate.

Bob

Fun(ny) Words

A few years ago, the Washington Post, that distinguished, award-winning newspaper, sponsored a contest that asked readers to supply alternate meanings for various words.  The Post’s readership proved to be extremely witty and creative.  Following are some of the winning entries: 

- Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

- Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

- Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

- Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

- Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

- Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly

answer the door in your nightie.

- Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

- Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

- Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are

run over by a steamroller.

- Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

- Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

- Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a

proctologist immediately before he examines you.

- Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish

expressions.

- Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

- Frisbeetarianism (n.), the belief that, when you die, your soul goes up

on the roof and gets stuck there.

- And let's add ... Pokemon (n), a Jamaican proctologist.

            The Washington Post and other publications will be the subject of our next post.  We’ll discuss some of the errors made covering the war against terrorism.  For instance, do you you know what’s wrong with these terms:  last rights; enroute; Afghani?  You’ll find out in the next post..

In the meantime, if you have questions or comments, contact me here (which seems to be impossible) or email me at allwriter@comcast.net.

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       Penn State wins another. May be one of the weakest 6-1 teams in the country, but we'll take what we can get. On to Northwestern.
      The Merrill Reese-Mike Quick Eagles radio team doing their usual terrible job as I type this. Merrill is most over-rated play-by-play man in Philly, if not the East Coast.
Later.

More Media Notes

Mighty Carla
My girl Carla Guigino stars as Cathy Rush, coach of the Immaculata women's basketball team, in the just-released Mighty Macs, the story of Immaculat's rise to the top of distaff basketball world back in the late '60s, early '70s. Although Carla's physical attributes (which are awesomely depicted in this month's Esquire) aren't on display in this film, her acting chops are. And she's got some. Girl has appeared in Broadway dramas, in addition to myriad movies and TV shows. Unfortunately, the film will appeal to Philly-area roundball fans (maybe) and nuns, but won't have legs beyond that.
       Side note: the hierarchy of feminine allure goes like this: Salma Hayek, Carla, Natalie Portman . . . . everybody else. Take it to the bank.
Culture
    Just learned a new word for laughing: cheesin'. Got it, of all places, from Blue White Illustrated, the Penn State sports newsletter, which described how PSU linebackers were cheesin' after they sacked the quarterback. I know, I'm probably way behind in picking up on this.
    
More Media
      Idris Elba. No, it's not the Latin name of a plant, it's an English actor, black, who will be famous soon. You heard it here first. Being considered for next James Bond -- a black Bond, revolutionary, no? Also, that super-bad dude from No Country for Old Men, Javier Bardem, he who won the heart of the almost-hierarchical-and-Salma-wannabe Penelope Cruz, will play the bad guy. Can't wait.
      Speaking of No Country: Have you seen that commercial with Tommy Lee Jones -- for some financial advice company? How many gallons (pounds?) of pancake makeup do you think it took for that wrinkleless visage ol' Tom presents to the camera.
       And I have finally found a post-'60s song that I like: Into the Deep, by Adele. That girl has some pipes, and soul.
       Finally, the collection of my War on Words columns is in production, and the electronic version should be available next week. Printed copies in a month -- in time for Christmas. Will keep you posted.
Language
     I leave you with these admonitions: never pronounce the t in often and never use the word literally or the phrase "begs the question." Thus endeth the lesson.
Later.
Bob

Media Alert

As I said, I'll be commenting on more than just grammar and the abuse of the English language. I'll also have some observations on the media, politics, entertainment, etc.
      Here's a media alert: Keep an eye on Erin Burnett. CNN just stole her from MSNBC, where she frequently appeared on Morning Joe. CNN gave her her own show, Out Front, from 7 to 8 every weeknight. In her first week, she has been savaged -- mostly by critics on the left -- for being too chummy with Wall Street, but I predict a bright future for her, no matter whether this show thrives or not. The camera loves her -- note how tight it comes in on her face. Unfortunately, in profile she's not quite as attractive, but she's bright and informed, although maybe a bit too manic at this point.
       Saw a jump head in the Sunday News Journal in a story about Steve Jobs: "Music: Consensus on Influence Is Mixed." Really, a mixed consensus? Also, sign outside Eagles practice facility that tried to cleverly call for the ouster of Andy Reid as head coach was -- of course -- way off grammatically. The sign, playing on Reid's usual comment at press conferences, "Time's yours," meaning it is reporters' time to ask questions, read this way: "Andy Times Yours . . . to go." First, there should be a comma after Andy, and second, the apostrophe in time's (meaning "time is," of course) is missing. But I know that asking the idiots who make these signs to be grammatically accurate is like asking Placido Polanco to hit a long fly ball. Ugh, just got a flashback to last Friday's season-ending loss to the Cardinals.
     Until next time, then, watch your language!
Bob

Philly's Sorry Sports Day -- and not just on the field

Phils and Eagles blow big leads, and fans anguish. I, meanwhile, gnashed my teeth at the Philly sports media and their continuing assault on good English.
    Some quick examples:
   Pronouncing last as "lass" or, worse, "lash." Likewise, pronouncing next as "nex." What is it with some sports talkers' inability to pronounce the final t on these words?
     Pronouncing versus "verse." I guess since the word is often abbreviated as "vs.," lazy talkers assume you can pronounce it without the last syllable.
    "Schematically," used by football coaches to as an adverb to describe their game-planning efforts, as in, "Schematically, we were ready for their ground game." It's a bastardization of "scheme" and smacks of "schematic," a term usually used for diagrams, especially of electrical systems. In my view, it's just another effort -- subconscious or conscious -- by these gridiron "gurus" to make their profession even more mysterious and cerebral, when in reality it ain't rocket science -- it's just blocking and tackling.
     "Harbinger of things to come" -- a redundancy (a harbinger is a foreshadowing of future events) uttered by Jody McDonald, newly returned to WIP. McDonald is also a member of the lash/nex tribe, and a man who has a tendency to use big words that he is really not familiar with (much like Tim McCarver).
      I also notice, and not just on sports talk shows, the over-use and misuse of the phrase "throw under the bus."  This was originally meant to apply to someone who is blaming someone else for something that is the first person's fault. Now it seems to be applied whenever simple criticism is involved.
     OK, thus endeth today's lesson. Stay tuned for more later this week.